Those who know me well know that I get super stressed out really easily. Like, REALLY easily. Just one test that probably won't even make a difference to me a week later is enough to send me into a frenzy. That being said, I am currently applying for the Elementary Music Ed program here at BYU. It is the most stressful application process ever, and to top it all off, only 8 to 10 applicants get accepted into the program each year. Yes you read that right, EIGHT TO TEN. This process entails: a four week long night class with two and half hour sessions (I had the last one this past Wednesday YES), in which the professor essentially tells us that we should all reconsider and decide if this major is really right for us, because they want to weed out the "bad candidates." You think I'm exaggerating? I promise I am not. So, that wasn't fun, but it's over now. Then we have an application, two essays, an audition, an audition video, a video of ourselves teaching, and an interview! PARTY. Not so much. So, like I said, if one test is enough to send me into a frenzy, think of what this whole shebang is doing. The good news is, I've learned something throughout this process. Something big, actually. The Lord works in mysterious ways. I have noticed his hand all throughout this process, and I know now with a surety that he will be with me the rest of the way.
Pretty early on in the process, I was having a day where I just felt as though I wasn't going to survive the process. I was sitting at my desk crying pathetically, trying to ensure that my roommate did not see me. I kept having the distinct impression that I should go down to the music rooms and just sing. "How is THAT going to help?" the cynical voice in my head retorted, but alas I decided to give it a try. As I sang my audition pieces in that practice room, I reaffirmed my love for music, and realized that that's the whole reason I'm doing this in the first place! Then, about a week later, I started to lose confidence. I was just feeling as though I just didn't have the talent to get into the program when compared to my peers. I had another impression that I should sing my pieces for my friends. Again, I thought the idea was crazy, but again I went for it. I don't think they have any idea how much their feedback meant to me. I forgot how much difference a bit of positive feedback can make, and how much a little bit of constructive criticism can help.
A few days later, I was freaking out AGAIN but this time it was about the video that I was required to make of myself teaching. I just couldn't think of any concepts that I could teach adequately. By this point, I had really started to catch on and recognize the promptings I had been receiving. The distinct thought came into my mind to e-mail my elementary school music teacher, Mrs. Anderson, and ask her for some ideas. By this point, I knew not to question and did as I was impressed to do. A couple of days later, I received an e-mail back with SO MANY helpful suggestions! Things that I, being a completely inexperienced teacher, NEVER would've thought of on my own!
Then tonight, as I am two days away from my audition, I have definitely crossed over into panic mode. I was sitting at my desk, and since I was unable to focus on homework, was attempting to distract myself from this sudden surge of panic by looking at adorable stuff on Pinterest. It wasn't working, so that's when I knew the situation was bad. In the middle of my little freak out, my parents called. As I talked to them on the phone, I may or may not have been crying... a little as I relayed to them how freaked out I was. They both encouraged me to just be calm. They told me to remember that I had worked hard and that everything would be fine. My dad encouraged me to ask for a priesthood blessing, because he cannot be here to give me one himself. It amazes me that even though I am on the other side of the country, they always know when I need them!
So, readers of my blog, if there is anything that I am learning from this experience it is that the Lord knows each one of us so well. He knows exactly what we are going through, and how to help us out. He is just a prayer away and will always be there for us. I am so grateful for all that I have learned from this experience!
Pretty early on in the process, I was having a day where I just felt as though I wasn't going to survive the process. I was sitting at my desk crying pathetically, trying to ensure that my roommate did not see me. I kept having the distinct impression that I should go down to the music rooms and just sing. "How is THAT going to help?" the cynical voice in my head retorted, but alas I decided to give it a try. As I sang my audition pieces in that practice room, I reaffirmed my love for music, and realized that that's the whole reason I'm doing this in the first place! Then, about a week later, I started to lose confidence. I was just feeling as though I just didn't have the talent to get into the program when compared to my peers. I had another impression that I should sing my pieces for my friends. Again, I thought the idea was crazy, but again I went for it. I don't think they have any idea how much their feedback meant to me. I forgot how much difference a bit of positive feedback can make, and how much a little bit of constructive criticism can help.
A few days later, I was freaking out AGAIN but this time it was about the video that I was required to make of myself teaching. I just couldn't think of any concepts that I could teach adequately. By this point, I had really started to catch on and recognize the promptings I had been receiving. The distinct thought came into my mind to e-mail my elementary school music teacher, Mrs. Anderson, and ask her for some ideas. By this point, I knew not to question and did as I was impressed to do. A couple of days later, I received an e-mail back with SO MANY helpful suggestions! Things that I, being a completely inexperienced teacher, NEVER would've thought of on my own!
Then tonight, as I am two days away from my audition, I have definitely crossed over into panic mode. I was sitting at my desk, and since I was unable to focus on homework, was attempting to distract myself from this sudden surge of panic by looking at adorable stuff on Pinterest. It wasn't working, so that's when I knew the situation was bad. In the middle of my little freak out, my parents called. As I talked to them on the phone, I may or may not have been crying... a little as I relayed to them how freaked out I was. They both encouraged me to just be calm. They told me to remember that I had worked hard and that everything would be fine. My dad encouraged me to ask for a priesthood blessing, because he cannot be here to give me one himself. It amazes me that even though I am on the other side of the country, they always know when I need them!
So, readers of my blog, if there is anything that I am learning from this experience it is that the Lord knows each one of us so well. He knows exactly what we are going through, and how to help us out. He is just a prayer away and will always be there for us. I am so grateful for all that I have learned from this experience!
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