I am beyond terrified to write this post, but I have felt like I needed to write it for quite some time now. My heart is about pounding out of my chest as I type, but this topic is so close to my heart. Being single has its challenges. Anyone will tell you that. But there are so many things about it that are beautiful and wonderful, and for that reason I feel that writing this post and taking the opportunity to share what those who are single want YOU to know is SO important.
First and foremost don't ask us constantly about our dating lives. To preface this one, I completely and fully understand that when I am asked about my dating life, no one is trying to make me uncomfortable, they are just genuinely interested. However, nine times out of ten I feel completely and utterly self-conscious and sheepish when I'm asked this question. As a rule of thumb, if there is something we want to share and are ready to share, we will tell you! If not, avoiding this question is usually for the best.
Instead, ask about our lives and the things that we are doing professionally, in school, or anything else that we are doing outside of our typical work and school lives. Being single can be heart wrenching sometimes. But, I am surrounded by people who are trying to take full advantage of this time to grow, become better, learn, and experience incredible things. I am working at a job that I love and that challenges and stretches me every day. I am taking trips and building lasting relationships with family and friends. I love to talk about any and all of these things, and when I am asked about them instead, it reminds me that my dating life and status doesn't define me. It doesn't define anyone.
Just because we are single and in a different phase of our life than some around our age, it does not mean that we are not happy for family and friends who get engaged, married, or have kids. This one is SO important to me, because I have had two beloved younger sisters get married within the last 3 years. Just over a month ago, my sister and brother in law called to tell me they were having a baby, and I immediately burst into tears, because I was SO happy and excited for them, and of course already planning how I was going to spoil the baby rotten and be the favorite aunt! I, who am NOT typically a crier, sobbed through both of my sisters' weddings, not because I was feeling sorry for myself, but because I was so happy to see them so happy. When we say we are happy for you, we mean it with all our hearts.
Finally, behind closed doors, we have our moments filled with self-doubt and tears, wondering why our hopes about dating have not come to fruition, and asking ourselves what we are doing wrong. In spite of that, I was raised to have unwavering faith in God. Yes this period of our lives is uncertain, and uncertainty often raises questions and intense feelings of insecurity and doubt. However, I trust my Heavenly Father completely, I have faith in His timing, and I know without a doubt that He has a plan for each of us. It can be so difficult to understand why things do or do not happen in our lives. Oftentimes we are not supposed to understand, or maybe we are not ready to understand. But on Saturday as I sat in the temple pondering this very question, my heart and soul were filled with peace. Each and every one of us, regardless of our circumstances is known and loved. So I am choosing to (try my hardest) to put my doubts and uncertainties aside, and look ahead with happiness and joy to whatever life may have in store for me!
First and foremost don't ask us constantly about our dating lives. To preface this one, I completely and fully understand that when I am asked about my dating life, no one is trying to make me uncomfortable, they are just genuinely interested. However, nine times out of ten I feel completely and utterly self-conscious and sheepish when I'm asked this question. As a rule of thumb, if there is something we want to share and are ready to share, we will tell you! If not, avoiding this question is usually for the best.
Instead, ask about our lives and the things that we are doing professionally, in school, or anything else that we are doing outside of our typical work and school lives. Being single can be heart wrenching sometimes. But, I am surrounded by people who are trying to take full advantage of this time to grow, become better, learn, and experience incredible things. I am working at a job that I love and that challenges and stretches me every day. I am taking trips and building lasting relationships with family and friends. I love to talk about any and all of these things, and when I am asked about them instead, it reminds me that my dating life and status doesn't define me. It doesn't define anyone.
Just because we are single and in a different phase of our life than some around our age, it does not mean that we are not happy for family and friends who get engaged, married, or have kids. This one is SO important to me, because I have had two beloved younger sisters get married within the last 3 years. Just over a month ago, my sister and brother in law called to tell me they were having a baby, and I immediately burst into tears, because I was SO happy and excited for them, and of course already planning how I was going to spoil the baby rotten and be the favorite aunt! I, who am NOT typically a crier, sobbed through both of my sisters' weddings, not because I was feeling sorry for myself, but because I was so happy to see them so happy. When we say we are happy for you, we mean it with all our hearts.
Finally, behind closed doors, we have our moments filled with self-doubt and tears, wondering why our hopes about dating have not come to fruition, and asking ourselves what we are doing wrong. In spite of that, I was raised to have unwavering faith in God. Yes this period of our lives is uncertain, and uncertainty often raises questions and intense feelings of insecurity and doubt. However, I trust my Heavenly Father completely, I have faith in His timing, and I know without a doubt that He has a plan for each of us. It can be so difficult to understand why things do or do not happen in our lives. Oftentimes we are not supposed to understand, or maybe we are not ready to understand. But on Saturday as I sat in the temple pondering this very question, my heart and soul were filled with peace. Each and every one of us, regardless of our circumstances is known and loved. So I am choosing to (try my hardest) to put my doubts and uncertainties aside, and look ahead with happiness and joy to whatever life may have in store for me!
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