I've titled this post "A Semester of Growth," because that really is what this semester has been for me. This growth has come through trials. These trials weren't necessarily huge in the grand scheme of things, but they were trials nonetheless and they were hard. Tonight after I finished writing in my journal, I flipped back to the beginning and was reading some of my past entries. I started writing in this particular journal in January. I was having a really hard time. A few of the entries are SLIGHTLY dramatic, and while I do admit I had a good laugh over them now nearly 4 months later, at the time what I was going through was really hard. As I lay reading in my bed, I thought about what had changed that got me from that point to now, when I really and truly am so happy. Not that I was unhappy before, I just was really struggling. I realized that there were so many things that got me through this particular trial. Phone calls to my mom where she just let me talk and she listened. Amazing best friends who were always there when I needed someone to talk to. Dear past young women leaders from my home ward who sent me messages asking how I was doing. Kneeling in prayer to my Heavenly Father, and letting him know through tears what I was going through and asking for strength. Ultimately, I never would be able to have gotten through this trial, and any others that I will face throughout the rest of my life throughout the Atonement. It dawned on me that I was literally healed through the power of the Atonement. Sure there was some sadness along the way, but the Atonement fixed me. Because of what Christ did for me in the Garden of Gethsemane, he knew what I was feeling and he knew how to fix it. I have grown to appreciate the Atonement more than ever before. I know that I can rely on this incredible sacrifice no matter what. Because the Savior did his Father's will and suffered more than we will ever be able to comprehend, we can be not only forgiven of our sins, but strengthened in times of trial. I remember this trial kind of came out of the blue. One of the first things I thought was, "I want to get through this trial in a way that will make my Heavenly Father proud of me." I hope that I did and that I have proven that in times of trial, I will always turn to Him. I am so thankful for my faith. I know this Gospel is true and that the Atonement is real!
This is a picture of me almost exactly three years ago: And this is a picture of me now: Now, you might be thinking this is one of those stories that you see in Weight Watchers ads on T.V. endorsing a diet. I promise it's not. This journey was about so much more than a number on a scale. It was about working towards being able to recognize my divine nature as a daughter of God. I'll start at the beginning. When I started my freshman year at BYU, my self-confidence was at an all time low. I would try on about five outfits every morning, look in the mirror, and then immediately change. My low self-esteem was reflected in the way I talked to people, the way I dressed, and just the overall way that I carried myself. I compared myself to everyone else around me and was constantly tearing myself down. My lack of self-esteem seemed so obvious, yet it seemed like no one truly understood how I felt. I knew I needed to make some changes, but I just didn't know how. Af...
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