First off, the irony is entirely not lost on me that I'm sitting here in the library procrastinating writing a paper, so I'm writing a blog post instead. My Mondays are awful, because I have an hour and a half class at 8 am, then a 2 and a half hour break, then a class at noon, then a three hour break, followed by another hour and a half class at 4. I wish I could just have all three classes back to back and get them over with, but you know, that's life.
So anyways, I'm in the midst of making a pretty big decision in my life. I'm trying to decide whether the Lord needs me to serve a mission, or whether I should stay here at BYU and work on finishing my degree while working toward my goal of getting married and having a family. The hard part about this decision for me is the fact that it's a choice between two good things. I've been praying a lot about it, and felt that I wasn't really getting an answer. Yesterday was Fast Sunday, and I decided that this decision was what I was going to fast about. I had a really neat experience that I wanted to share!
My Sunday started off normal. I woke up, got ready, said my prayers, and hurried out the door with my roommates and arrived at Sacrament Meeting just as it was starting. This decision was on my mind all through Sacrament Meeting, and I debated in my head the pros and cons of each choice. Don't worry, I haven't broken out the lists YET. That's coming. Those who know me well shouldn't be surprised in the least. In Sunday School we had a lesson on receiving revelation. I learned something that I had never really thought of. We were taught about how sometimes the Lord does not answer our prayers right away when we are making a decision. Most of the time this means that he trusts us and wants us to use our agency. If we make a choice that is not in line with his plan for us, he will then guide us towards the desired path. That was such a huge comfort to me. I think part of the reason that I have been so scared to make a decision is that I'm so afraid of making the wrong one and messing up the Lord's plan for me. I came to realize that he will not let that happen! If that wasn't answer enough for my prayers and fasting, in Relief Society we had another fantastic lesson on receiving revelation!
When I got home from church, I wrote an e-mail to my cousin Matthew who is currently serving a mission in England and told him about my experience. This morning I woke up to an absolutely amazing e-mail from him! He first suggested that I read a quote from Elder Dallin H. Oaks found in the section of Preach My Gospel on recognizing the Spirit. I absolutely loved it and wanted to share it here: "A desire to be led by the Lord is a strength, but it needs to be accompanied by an understanding that our Heavenly Father leaves many decisions for our personal choices. Personal decision making is one of the sources of the growth we are meant to experience in mortality. Persons who try to shift all decision making to the Lord and plead for revelation in every choice will soon find circumstances in which they pray for guidance and don't receive it. For example, this is likely to occur in those numerous circumstances in which the choices are trivial or either choice is acceptable.We should study things out in our minds, using the reasoning powers our Creator has placed within us. Then we should pray for guidance and act upon it if we receive it. If we do not receive guidance, we should act upon our best judgment." I just loved that! Matthew then suggested to me that the Lord was giving me the chance to make this decision on my own, and that he would guide me if my decision wasn't in line with his plan for me. Then he said, "I can promise you this though, if you SHOULDN'T serve a mission he'll let you know. If you SHOULD serve a mission, he'll let you know. If he doesn't let you know anything, it's your choice! The Lord will bless you regardless." I am so thankful that making this decision led to such an incredible experience! I am so thankful that the Lord answered my prayers through inspired teachers as well as one of my best friends. I am excited to continue to study this decision out in my mind, and to discover what the Lord's plan is for me! I know that this Gospel is true and I am so blessed!
So anyways, I'm in the midst of making a pretty big decision in my life. I'm trying to decide whether the Lord needs me to serve a mission, or whether I should stay here at BYU and work on finishing my degree while working toward my goal of getting married and having a family. The hard part about this decision for me is the fact that it's a choice between two good things. I've been praying a lot about it, and felt that I wasn't really getting an answer. Yesterday was Fast Sunday, and I decided that this decision was what I was going to fast about. I had a really neat experience that I wanted to share!
My Sunday started off normal. I woke up, got ready, said my prayers, and hurried out the door with my roommates and arrived at Sacrament Meeting just as it was starting. This decision was on my mind all through Sacrament Meeting, and I debated in my head the pros and cons of each choice. Don't worry, I haven't broken out the lists YET. That's coming. Those who know me well shouldn't be surprised in the least. In Sunday School we had a lesson on receiving revelation. I learned something that I had never really thought of. We were taught about how sometimes the Lord does not answer our prayers right away when we are making a decision. Most of the time this means that he trusts us and wants us to use our agency. If we make a choice that is not in line with his plan for us, he will then guide us towards the desired path. That was such a huge comfort to me. I think part of the reason that I have been so scared to make a decision is that I'm so afraid of making the wrong one and messing up the Lord's plan for me. I came to realize that he will not let that happen! If that wasn't answer enough for my prayers and fasting, in Relief Society we had another fantastic lesson on receiving revelation!
When I got home from church, I wrote an e-mail to my cousin Matthew who is currently serving a mission in England and told him about my experience. This morning I woke up to an absolutely amazing e-mail from him! He first suggested that I read a quote from Elder Dallin H. Oaks found in the section of Preach My Gospel on recognizing the Spirit. I absolutely loved it and wanted to share it here: "A desire to be led by the Lord is a strength, but it needs to be accompanied by an understanding that our Heavenly Father leaves many decisions for our personal choices. Personal decision making is one of the sources of the growth we are meant to experience in mortality. Persons who try to shift all decision making to the Lord and plead for revelation in every choice will soon find circumstances in which they pray for guidance and don't receive it. For example, this is likely to occur in those numerous circumstances in which the choices are trivial or either choice is acceptable.We should study things out in our minds, using the reasoning powers our Creator has placed within us. Then we should pray for guidance and act upon it if we receive it. If we do not receive guidance, we should act upon our best judgment." I just loved that! Matthew then suggested to me that the Lord was giving me the chance to make this decision on my own, and that he would guide me if my decision wasn't in line with his plan for me. Then he said, "I can promise you this though, if you SHOULDN'T serve a mission he'll let you know. If you SHOULD serve a mission, he'll let you know. If he doesn't let you know anything, it's your choice! The Lord will bless you regardless." I am so thankful that making this decision led to such an incredible experience! I am so thankful that the Lord answered my prayers through inspired teachers as well as one of my best friends. I am excited to continue to study this decision out in my mind, and to discover what the Lord's plan is for me! I know that this Gospel is true and I am so blessed!
One thing that helped me is knowing that sometimes the decision doesn't have to be made right away. Just because the age has been changed doesn't mean that we have to go right at 19 or 20 even. For me, personally (and it's different for everyone, I must always keep reminding myself), I feel it's not what I'm supposed to be doing right now. That being said, I'm open to the idea in the future. :) Love you, Sarah, you'll make the right choice for YOU!
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