This blog post is going to be a little bit personal, but I just really want to share some details about one of my primary summer goals: losing weight.
As a kid I was really active I'd say. I did some sports growing up and I LOVED to play outside all the time. Then I got really into swimming. Mind you I wasn't very good at anything but breaststroke, but hey I did qualify for All Stars in it twice. Anyways, for three years, 6th-8th grade I swam year round. I would get up and swim before school three or four days a week and swam in the summer. Physical activity was a pretty big part of my life and I never really worried about my weight. Then high school happened.
A typical day for me in high school started at 5:15 a.m. I would get ready and eat breakfast and get out the door to attempt to be at my church by 6 (rarely were we on time but we tried) for seminary, a 45 minute class that members of the LDS church all around the world attend each morning all four years of high school. Over the course of the four years the students complete a year studying each of the following: Old Testament, New Testament, Book of Mormon, and Doctrine and Covenants. After seminary, we would all carpool to school. I would be in school until 2:10 in the afternoon. In high school I was extremely involved with choir and drama. After school for most of the year I would have rehearsals for various productions and choirs I was involved with. These lasted anywhere from an hour to six or seven hours depending on the day or stage of the production. After that I would come home, do homework, eat dinner, go to bed, and repeat the busy day. Add voice lessons and various church activities to the mix and it can be concluded that physical activity wasn't really a priority in my busy schedule.
I had an amazing senior year except for one thing: I felt awful about my body. It just got worse. Same thing with freshman year of college. I had absolutely no confidence in my appearance. I wore t-shirts and sweatshirts all the time because I felt fat in anything else. Whenever I put on a cute outfit I would stand in front of my mirror obsessively taking pictures of myself in it to make sure I looked okay. If I wasn't satisfied I would change. It just felt like I was caught up in this endless circle. In addition, I've never really gotten attention from boys. I have been on three dates in my entire life. All with the same guy. Once I asked him on a group date and twice we went to Mormon Prom together. The second time I was his back up because the girl he was going to ask already had a date. I was heartbroken when I found that out, but still managed to have a good time. I'm not saying all of this as a plea for pity. Not at all. It was just a part of the confidence struggle that I am continuing to battle.
Fast forward to second semester of freshman year. There was this girl in my ward at school. Her name is Samantha. We kind of hung out with the same group of friends at the end of first semester, but we didn't really get to know each other until we all returned from Christmas break. We started talking and found out that we had a lot in common. One thing led to another and we came to the decision that we wanted to start working out together. We got up early and went to the gym four days a week. It wasn't easy, but it got me into some really great exercise habits. I learned to love exercising for the first time in so long. However, eating healthy was nearly impossible at our dining hall, the Cannon Center. We tried the best that we could though. I'm so thankful that Sam and I started this because it really set the ball rolling for my summer goal. Plus, she became one of my best friends! Win win win!
I was sad to see winter semester end for so many reasons. One of them was the fact that Sam and I wouldn't be able to work out together anymore. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to motivate myself. A lot of times I would get up and work out because I knew that Sam was getting up too. I didn't know if I could do it on my own. The first couple weeks I was home I kind of faltered. I got caught up in finding a job, starting my job, and getting into a new routine. However, one day I was just feeling absolutely horrible about my body. I knew that something needed to change. I said a prayer and asked my Heavenly Father for help as I tried to lose weight. Ever since I strengthened my resolve, I have been absolutely amazed by what I have been able to accomplish with the help of my Heavenly Father.
FIRST CHALLENGE, eating healthy. I have (or should I say used to have) the biggest sweet tooth in the universe. I had no discipline whatsoever. I would cave at the sight of sweets no matter what and not even give it a second thought. I have become somewhat of a health nut. I watch very carefully what I eat. I limit the number of calories that I can have per day and make sure I fill those requirements with nutritious foods that will keep me full. My mom has been SO supportive and stocked our house with fruit (I LOVE fruit) and helped me figure out a lot of really healthy options for my meals. I really couldn't be doing this without her. I have been absolutely amazed at how disciplined I have become. Sweets just don't even appeal to me anymore. I have found healthy substitutes for the sweets that I always craved including fudgesicles and my favorite FIBER ONE BROWNIES! Seriously those things are incredible. SO good! My snacks are healthy and I make sure to drink tons of water throughout the day! The thing is, I KNOW that I did not do this alone. There was no way I could've become this disciplined on my own. I have seen the hand of my Heavenly Father the whole time. I have prayed for his help and he has given it to me.
SECOND CHALLENGE, working out. I looked into getting a gym membership, but unfortunately it's a little bit pricy to say the least. My summer job salary was not going to cut it. So, I had to find other options. For awhile I ran, but that just isn't my favorite activity. So, I started going to my grandparents house and working out on their treadmill and bike followed by an ab workout. I usually work out for about an hour and a half total, and honestly I have grown to love it. The music I listen to while I exercise gets me so pumped up and I feel like I can conquer the world.
NEXT CHALLENGE, confidence. I still have a HUGE struggle with confidence in my appearance. First of all, I constantly compare myself and my body to the people around me. Sometimes I have days where I feel really good about my appearance, but oftentimes I am faced with days where I really struggle with my appearance. A few weeks ago I walked into the kitchen and my mom was watching The Today Show. The host said something that has stuck with me ever since, "If there's anything that you can do to make yourself feel more confident, then do it!" I want to feel confident. I want to be able to be able to talk to boys with ease and not be worrying about my appearance. Gaining confidence is my ultimate girl. It isn't always easy, but it will be worth it.
I know for a fact that I have lost weight, because my clothes are starting to feel extremely loose. My pants seem to be continuously getting bigger as are the rest of my clothes. However there's one problem: I can't muster up the courage to weigh myself. Members of my family have been telling me I look like I've lost weight, but I've had a hard time believing them. They know how hard I've been working, and sometimes I feel that out of the goodness of their hearts they are just saying that I look thinner. Maybe it's ridiculous, but I won't even try to understand the way my mind works. The next hurdle I need to conquer is finding the courage to weigh myself! That just goes to show that I definitely have a ways to go on this journey. I definitely want to lose some more weight and then continue to live a healthy lifestyle once I get back to BYU! I have learned so much about myself and what I am capable of from working towards this goal. One of the most important lessons comes from a quote that my friend Sam had on the wall of her dorm at school, "With the Lord I can do hard things!"
As a kid I was really active I'd say. I did some sports growing up and I LOVED to play outside all the time. Then I got really into swimming. Mind you I wasn't very good at anything but breaststroke, but hey I did qualify for All Stars in it twice. Anyways, for three years, 6th-8th grade I swam year round. I would get up and swim before school three or four days a week and swam in the summer. Physical activity was a pretty big part of my life and I never really worried about my weight. Then high school happened.
A typical day for me in high school started at 5:15 a.m. I would get ready and eat breakfast and get out the door to attempt to be at my church by 6 (rarely were we on time but we tried) for seminary, a 45 minute class that members of the LDS church all around the world attend each morning all four years of high school. Over the course of the four years the students complete a year studying each of the following: Old Testament, New Testament, Book of Mormon, and Doctrine and Covenants. After seminary, we would all carpool to school. I would be in school until 2:10 in the afternoon. In high school I was extremely involved with choir and drama. After school for most of the year I would have rehearsals for various productions and choirs I was involved with. These lasted anywhere from an hour to six or seven hours depending on the day or stage of the production. After that I would come home, do homework, eat dinner, go to bed, and repeat the busy day. Add voice lessons and various church activities to the mix and it can be concluded that physical activity wasn't really a priority in my busy schedule.
I had an amazing senior year except for one thing: I felt awful about my body. It just got worse. Same thing with freshman year of college. I had absolutely no confidence in my appearance. I wore t-shirts and sweatshirts all the time because I felt fat in anything else. Whenever I put on a cute outfit I would stand in front of my mirror obsessively taking pictures of myself in it to make sure I looked okay. If I wasn't satisfied I would change. It just felt like I was caught up in this endless circle. In addition, I've never really gotten attention from boys. I have been on three dates in my entire life. All with the same guy. Once I asked him on a group date and twice we went to Mormon Prom together. The second time I was his back up because the girl he was going to ask already had a date. I was heartbroken when I found that out, but still managed to have a good time. I'm not saying all of this as a plea for pity. Not at all. It was just a part of the confidence struggle that I am continuing to battle.
Fast forward to second semester of freshman year. There was this girl in my ward at school. Her name is Samantha. We kind of hung out with the same group of friends at the end of first semester, but we didn't really get to know each other until we all returned from Christmas break. We started talking and found out that we had a lot in common. One thing led to another and we came to the decision that we wanted to start working out together. We got up early and went to the gym four days a week. It wasn't easy, but it got me into some really great exercise habits. I learned to love exercising for the first time in so long. However, eating healthy was nearly impossible at our dining hall, the Cannon Center. We tried the best that we could though. I'm so thankful that Sam and I started this because it really set the ball rolling for my summer goal. Plus, she became one of my best friends! Win win win!
I was sad to see winter semester end for so many reasons. One of them was the fact that Sam and I wouldn't be able to work out together anymore. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to motivate myself. A lot of times I would get up and work out because I knew that Sam was getting up too. I didn't know if I could do it on my own. The first couple weeks I was home I kind of faltered. I got caught up in finding a job, starting my job, and getting into a new routine. However, one day I was just feeling absolutely horrible about my body. I knew that something needed to change. I said a prayer and asked my Heavenly Father for help as I tried to lose weight. Ever since I strengthened my resolve, I have been absolutely amazed by what I have been able to accomplish with the help of my Heavenly Father.
FIRST CHALLENGE, eating healthy. I have (or should I say used to have) the biggest sweet tooth in the universe. I had no discipline whatsoever. I would cave at the sight of sweets no matter what and not even give it a second thought. I have become somewhat of a health nut. I watch very carefully what I eat. I limit the number of calories that I can have per day and make sure I fill those requirements with nutritious foods that will keep me full. My mom has been SO supportive and stocked our house with fruit (I LOVE fruit) and helped me figure out a lot of really healthy options for my meals. I really couldn't be doing this without her. I have been absolutely amazed at how disciplined I have become. Sweets just don't even appeal to me anymore. I have found healthy substitutes for the sweets that I always craved including fudgesicles and my favorite FIBER ONE BROWNIES! Seriously those things are incredible. SO good! My snacks are healthy and I make sure to drink tons of water throughout the day! The thing is, I KNOW that I did not do this alone. There was no way I could've become this disciplined on my own. I have seen the hand of my Heavenly Father the whole time. I have prayed for his help and he has given it to me.
SECOND CHALLENGE, working out. I looked into getting a gym membership, but unfortunately it's a little bit pricy to say the least. My summer job salary was not going to cut it. So, I had to find other options. For awhile I ran, but that just isn't my favorite activity. So, I started going to my grandparents house and working out on their treadmill and bike followed by an ab workout. I usually work out for about an hour and a half total, and honestly I have grown to love it. The music I listen to while I exercise gets me so pumped up and I feel like I can conquer the world.
NEXT CHALLENGE, confidence. I still have a HUGE struggle with confidence in my appearance. First of all, I constantly compare myself and my body to the people around me. Sometimes I have days where I feel really good about my appearance, but oftentimes I am faced with days where I really struggle with my appearance. A few weeks ago I walked into the kitchen and my mom was watching The Today Show. The host said something that has stuck with me ever since, "If there's anything that you can do to make yourself feel more confident, then do it!" I want to feel confident. I want to be able to be able to talk to boys with ease and not be worrying about my appearance. Gaining confidence is my ultimate girl. It isn't always easy, but it will be worth it.
I know for a fact that I have lost weight, because my clothes are starting to feel extremely loose. My pants seem to be continuously getting bigger as are the rest of my clothes. However there's one problem: I can't muster up the courage to weigh myself. Members of my family have been telling me I look like I've lost weight, but I've had a hard time believing them. They know how hard I've been working, and sometimes I feel that out of the goodness of their hearts they are just saying that I look thinner. Maybe it's ridiculous, but I won't even try to understand the way my mind works. The next hurdle I need to conquer is finding the courage to weigh myself! That just goes to show that I definitely have a ways to go on this journey. I definitely want to lose some more weight and then continue to live a healthy lifestyle once I get back to BYU! I have learned so much about myself and what I am capable of from working towards this goal. One of the most important lessons comes from a quote that my friend Sam had on the wall of her dorm at school, "With the Lord I can do hard things!"
Sarah, I love you! And I love this post! The fact that you've put this up here tells me you have a whole lot more confidence and courage than you think you do! Seriously, weigh yourself. But if not, that's okay. The important thing isn't the weight, it's the health. And it sounds like you're doing a great job taking care of your body. If you weigh more, I'm sure it's because you've lost fat but gained muscle, which weighs more. The important thing is just that you feel good about yourself. Work on that and then the rest will fall into place. I can't tell you how proud I am of you! The past 3 weeks I've started getting myself more into shape too. We can totally be buds in this! I love you and think you're the best! :)
ReplyDeleteAnna I love you so much! You're such an amazing friend! We should definitely work out together when we get back to school! Let's get our whole little group together and party at the gym!
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