As one year ends and a new one begins with me exactly where I was this time last year: still single, I have found myself giving in to feelings of failure. I look back and wonder, "Could I have done more of __________? Did I need to do less of __________? What did I do wrong?" The past few days, I've been trying to reframe my thinking. I'm instead trying to focus on what this season has taught, and is continuing to teach me. Seasons of waiting can feel like VERY isolating places to be at times. So as scary as it is, I decided to bring back my blog after a three and a half year hiatus to share three things I've learned in the latest chapter of my single season of waiting. My hope is that if nothing else, it can remind others that they are not alone! 1. Use Your Waiting Time To Work on Yourself I'll be honest, I used to HATE the phrase “work on yourself.” To me it meant making BIG changes all at once, and I am way too good at putting immense pressure on myself
I ascend the sandy hill, flip flops in hand, dressed in my favorite black leggings and a t-shirt. I love the feel of the soft sand between my toes. I can't see the ocean yet, but I can hear wave after wave crashing onto the shore. I reach the top of the hill and I see the breathtakingly beautiful blue ocean stretching as far as I can see out in front of me, to my left, to my right. I pause, set my flip flops down, and simply stand there for a moment, and take it all in before descending the hill. I walk as close to the water as possible. It is high tide, so powerful waves crash and soak my leggings straight through. But I don't mind. The wet sand sticks to my wet toes as I walk further and further. Time passes, but I hardly notice. Later, I change into my swimsuit and head down to the water. We measure the temperature, 63 degrees, but that is not going to stop me. I dive in headfirst. My whole body immediately starts to shake, but soon I am used to the cold. As the waves co